tl;dr — It’s fine for me to do it, but I must take care not to overburden myself. It will require a lot of sacrifice (of time, energy, etc.) and I may be prone to giving up on it too quickly. I may experience unnecessary anxiety regarding this project as I start out, but ultimately, it’s a good idea.
Today, I had the opportunity to attend Monika’s first advanced group journey class. The topic was psychopomp work, which, as a death worker, is something that naturally interests me. It’s something I have always wanted to include in my death work repertoire, and this was the perfect way to learn that skill under the guidance of a practiced shaman and healer.
We gathered in the basement of Monika’s house and went on three journeys, each with a specific goal in mind.
Brooke and I spoke earlier today about the feelings that our various gods evoke within us. I expressed confusion and inner conflict regarding my relationships with Anubis and Tyr. The reason is because I feel strongly about both gods, yet Anubis has felt more distant of late, while I feel I’ve grown closer and closer to Tyr. But I made an oath to Anubis almost five years ago that I would serve Him first and carry out His will in the world. That’s why it feels wrong to be so enraptured by another god.
But Brooke and I spoke, and I came to the understanding that I’m going to have fundamentally different relationships with these two gods. Anubis is, in the sense, my master, and I am His tool. A better metaphor would be that He is my boss, and as long as I’m doing His work, He will not be displeased. And as is the case in mundane matters, I can have a very separate personal life unaffected by my “job” as a death worker. That’s where my hearth culture and home pantheon — and Tyr — enter the picture.
This is a huge relief for me. I feared Tyr was encroaching into Anubis’ territory, but perhaps not. Perhaps it’s possible to love Them equally, in different ways, for different reasons.