Journey 2/2

Randomly went on a healing journey last night while sleeping. I can’t remember what happened before or after, only what happened during the journey part itself.

I guess I was attacked. I started out with this anxious, desperate determination to reach my healing place, my hot spring under the barrow. But instead of going down the stairs into it from the outside, I just flew through the ground, underneath the spring itself. As soon as I entered the spring from below, it became the same white void, and my body became energy again. I felt weak. Heavy clumps of black gunk dissolved quickly from my arms in the hot spring/void.

Afterward, I pulled myself out of the spring with this urgent need to find Gienah. He appeared in normal crow form, and he seemed deeply concerned. I got out of the spring and saw a body on the dais, but I didn’t look closely at it. I felt unnerved by it because I somehow knew it was my body. At one point, though, I did look at the dais again and the body was gone.

Journey 1/23

Bullets, because my brain.

  • Started out in a white room. It was like… all those movie depictions of a virtual world. White, made of tiles/blocks. Some faded in and out, impermanent.
  • I stood in the center of the room and when I put my foot down it transformed from the center outward. A huge bearskin rug. A four-poster bed, some couches in front of a roaring fireplace, double doors leading out to a balcony, some other doors leading elsewhere, and a long table. Stone walls. Some narrow windows. Above, a large skylight? Showing the full moon.
  • I moved to the table. Wooden, unadorned. I thought, “Oh, I can put stuff here.” Nope. It’s my command center console. Holographic panels materialized into existence, at least seven of them, one long one over the tabletop and six in a grid in front of me. The six panels show views of the castle and forest, as if cameras were placed at strategic locations. I know I wanted this setup.
  • I trace the protective/shielding bindrune I made before journeying into a holo-panel on the console. Then I press my palm against it and the camera panels flash, like I had applied the rune to the entire territory.
  • I can hear the wolves howling outside.
  • To my left is a door. It’s wrong. I tear it down and there’s a mirror instead. I can see my reflection in my armor. I reach out and touch the surface with a finger; it ripples like water. I think about visiting the forge, then step into the mirror.
  • Blackness. I’m floating. I see a light way down below me. I think about being there, and in a blink I emerge into a blacksmith’s forge. Details are hazy. I draw a line along the length of a table with my finger and a sword materializes – first made of fire, then cooling to obsidian, then shedding to reveal steel. I swing it a few times.
  • Something laughs at me, a man that transforms into something like a zombie. It wasn’t in the forge before. It approaches with an awkward gait. I frown at it, flick my wrist, and it vanishes. I realize I should have said something to it instead. I feel uneasy.
  • I slam my fist against the same table’s top. The basic frame of a pistol jumps out from the surface of it, but I feel exhausted. I realize I should go back, leaving my next project unfinished. I struggle to get back to my new staging area, that room with the bed and the fireplace.
  • I never got to talk with the wolves.
  • I put the sword on the empty wall by the bed. I think about the pistol, but decide it’s better in the forge, unfinished. I take off my helm. I come out of trance.

Journey 1/22

I started out in my castle, walking down a corridor that led outside. I was wearing my armor. Before exiting to the parapet, I thought to myself that I really ought to finish claiming the castle as mine. A hologram panel, like in science fiction movies, materialized in front of me and I pressed a button on it. I have no idea what that was about.

I moved onto the parapet. The castle and its surrounding forest were snow-covered; the landscape seems to exist in a perpetual winter. How ironic.

I called for Gienah and he flew in, a massive crow, larger than a draft horse. He landed on the parapet in front of me, and I could see the golden eye between his two black ones. I asked him to take me on a healing journey (suggested by Scott), so he told me to climb onto his back. He lowered his wing so I could step on it and haul myself up.

Continue reading “Journey 1/22”

Contract with Q

Q will:

  • protect my apartment, possessions, and boyfriend from physical, spiritual, and energetic harm
  • alert me if anything happens or is about to happen

I will:

  • offer one raw chicken egg weekly (to be removed after 7 hours)
  • keep the apartment tidy

What is My Witchcraft Aesthetic?

I’m trying to pin down my witchcraft aesthetic and methods. I am definitely an urban witch, but not in the sense of “adapting woods witchcraft to a city.” I’m not a technowitch either; I’m very particular about touch, so I like having physical objects–books, tarot cards, etc. I thought maybe making a photoset would help me out, so I started clicking around tumblr for ideas.

Corporate witchcraft is super interesting to me. My work is not my life, but I love the idea of a stylish, chic witch woman (me) navigating the corporate maze with her subtle witchiness. Things like planning projects and launches around the moon phases, wearing different perfumes depending on what blessing you want, casting a pick-me-up spell into your Starbucks coffee, using your spare change as offerings to the gods and spirits, keeping a sigil for safe travels on your luggage tag… I love all of that. Modern, classy, urban witchcraft.

Thoughts on Shinto

Reading Where the Dead Pause, and the Japanese Say Goodbye by Marie Mutsuki Mockett is filling me with so much emotion about Shinto and, more generally, Japanese animism. I went through old photos of when I lived in Japan and I am so overwhelmed by nostalgia and memory. There were shrines everywhere. I remember the tree that had been struck by lightning next to Inuyama Castle, and how the people of Inuyama claim that the tree had saved their beloved castle from the bolt, and so they have enshrined the tree and make offerings to it. I remember the towering torii and the austere yet compassionate face of Inari Okami. I remember the little stone statues with their bibs and hats. I remember dutifully cleansing my hands with water before entering any shrine.

And yet I cannot reconcile how Shinto views death as impure with the fact that death is the bedrock of my spirituality. As beautiful as Shinto is, I must only look to it for inspiration, so that I too can build a faith and practice as deeply embedded into my daily life as Shinto is embedded into the Japanese way of life.

Journey 10/5

Tonight’s journey did not go very well, or very far. I think it’s because I’m really tired.

I go down the usual hole in the ground. Gienah is with me in the tunnel this time. I practice tearing down my steel plated shield and turning it into a suit of armor. But when I reach the end of the tunnel, I can’t step over the threshold. I feel like I am being pulled back. I sit down.

Gienah looks at me and says we should go through.

Suddenly it is winter in the black forest and I am walking between the pines. The black castle looms above. The sky above it is a winter gray. The lava beneath my steel armor keeps me warm. As I pass the trunks of trees, I touch them with my hands, leaving behind sowilo and wunjo runes. (I don’t realize they are sowilo and wunjo runes until I come out of trance and look them up.) I think to myself that I should put protective runes around the castle and resolve to come back after I’ve memorized them.

I stop in front of a natural-looking archway made by trees. Someone hides behind the other side, but I don’t know who. I don’t sense malevolence, but my gut tells me not to walk through the archway. I turned to my right and head up the hill toward the castle instead.

Gienah flies to my shoulder and I ask him about the secret phrase, but my words and thoughts are sluggish somehow. He does not answer. We do not make it up the hill before he tells me my time is up.

Journey 10/3

a long dark hallway, with torches on the right. i run my left hand on the left wall. i am wearing my steel armor. the wallpaper is gray with black embellishments. victorian? i can’t tell, it’s too blurry. there is a light at the end.

suddenly i am at the window. there’s a balcony in front of me. it’s nighttime outside, with a roundabout and courtyard in front of the house i’m in. a black horse gallops wildly on the smooth dirt. wolves howl in the distance. beyond the estate there are black forests and mountains. it’s cloudy.

the horse becomes gienah who flies to my arm. “it’s been a while.” we fly.

Continue reading “Journey 10/3”

Reiki Notes + Homework


  • heart of garnet. Scott gave me a bead of malachite that Tyr said belongs to me and will help me with my heart issue
  • an issue with my throat, connected to my heart
  • cleaned out some misc gunk in my hips + uterus triangle, right thigh, throat
  • destroyed some shackles that bound my hands to my feet to some indiscernible point, Scott believes someone threw a casual curse in my direction, it’s gone now
  • my ancestors are great and love me
  • I have a spider silk line of energy connecting Craig and me at the pond of the wind (acupuncture point behind right ear)
  • my aura is the color of red wine, the texture of paper ashes
  • my energy is the same garnet/red wine color, though it was initially reluctant and showed white (color of potential)
  • my shield is plates of steel riveted together then three layers of industrial foam
  • the energy centers in my head and the energy centers at my feet were fine but middle was withered
  • my third eye was encased in a brass ingot, and whatever was inside did not want to be touched. Aleja started filing it down and as she worked, it turned to sandstone, so she threw water on it to make it smaller without harming the object inside. Then at a certain point it refused to come out, so she offered it a box made of the same material as sunglasses lens that you can’t see through, and it was okay with this.
  • Anubis took a bone, made it bigger, and blew it into five points in my body (shoulders, core, knees)
  • my hands were blocked and when Aleja unblocked them, their energy shot out into the distance. She thinks I need to do more with my hands.


  1. Practice visualizing and working with my shield every day for a few weeks.
  2. Soften my heart.
  3. Speak more truth.
  4. Journey more to encourage the third eye chakra to open up.

Notes on Heathen Holidays

  • Þorrablot – celebration of husbands and fathers
  • Góublót – celebration of wives and mothers
  • Dísablót – celebration of female spirits + ancestors
  • Sigrblót – 1st of 3 major yearly sacrifices, beginning of summer season, celebrates victories
  • Midsummer – celebration of life
  • Alfarblót – 2nd of 3 major yearly sacrifices, first day of winter, harvest festival and prep for leaner winter months
  • Jól / Yule – 3rd of 3 major yearly sacrifices, Odin and the Wild Hunt

Looks like Sigrblót, Midsummer, Alfarblót, and Yule all generally fall on the equinoxes so I can play with that. The other three occur in winter: mid-January, mid-February, and “depends on context,” respectively.